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  • Writer's pictureFliss Goldsmith

BRAG over Christmas

I am writing this to help you navigate the festive season with confidence.

It is a wondrous time but it is also a time of zero routine, over stimulation and awkward interactions with many uncertainties.

How do you weather the Christmas chaos - you BRAG........(Read on!)


This means knowing what is ok for you and what is not. This may take some journalling to get clear on. An example is: For me, it is OK for people to arrange a get together but not to drop by unannounced, because this fuels my anxiety and leaves me feeling drained. Then it is on to clear and kind communication. I tell people without apology that I love to spend time with them and that in order for me to enjoy it as much as they will it needs to be planned in advanced. Then hold that boundary! If people persistently drop in at will, it is time to let them know that you have explained your stance on this and they are overstepping a boundary, which will have impact on your friendship. You can use this process for all the things you need to have boundaries on (and not just for Christmas!)


Say what you do and then do what you say. Simple. It ensures that life runs smoothly for all concerned. We are not robots and times are when we cannot follow through on a commitment. That's OK you can still be reliable - reliably inform the others involved as soon as you can that you need to reschedule. Communicate with confidence, clearly and kindly and unless you have intentionally done something to sabotage the event - don't add unnecessary apologies. Likewise be reliable in who you are - if you profess that you do not talk politics at family events because you know it will cause an argument - do not pass a sly comment that could spark a debate that you will then refuse to engage in.


We need to be responsible for our actions, words and efforts and be accountable when they do not work. Accountability means apologising and digging into your self-awareness for why you misjudged things. Do not back channel or blame - this is not accountability. Accepting you made a misstep or 3 is strong, human and provides a deep sense of connection. Talk it through with someone else, journal your thoughts, leave yourself a voice note but above all communicate your process to those involved with clarity.


Always assume positive intent. Tough one this. Try to assume that the person that has pissed you off was doing they best they could at that time in that given situation. You may ask - but how do we know they were? We don't - but life becomes more pleasant and easier to navigate if we do assume positive intent. It does not remove the responsibility from the other person, nor mean they shouldn't be accountable - but it does offer a lens of compassion through which to work through things together in a connected way. The outcome is usually a lot kinder on both parties.

So there you have it - BRAG away and enjoy your Christmas my loves - I will be back on Boxing Day with some more Blog thoughts.

X Love, Empowerment, Comfort & Joy - Fliss X


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