We ALL have limiting beliefs. Most of them come to us through our childhood and adolescent experiences and the trouble with these is that we conflate them with facts - which they are categorically NOT.
What is a Limiting Belief?
Simply put - a limiting belief is something you believe to be true of you that restricts your possibility for living a full and optimal life. Here is an example:
' I am not important.' This may have come to you through your schooling, or from a primary care giver where others were favoured over you, or your needs were dismissed or neglected. Maybe you were a someone who was told standing out was showing off and frowned upon, so you became middle of the pack and believed you were not important. As you grew up you did not pursue challenges or opportunities that aligned with your passions because you felt that you were not important enough. Perhaps you went on to neglect your own health needs because you didn't see yourself as a priority for eating well and exercising - because you weren't important enough for that time and effort? Ringing any bells yet? There are 100's of limiting beliefs and we all have unique sets based on our circumstances and experience. however there is one that hovers over all the rest like the dark cloud that it is............
So which one is the BIGGIE?!
Worthiness - I am not worthy of __________________ (fill in the damn blank!)
I am not worthy of love
I am not worthy of money
I am not worthy of connection
I am not worthy of friendship
I am not worthy of respect
I am not worthy of admiration
I am not worthy of celebration
I am not worthy of kindness
I am not worthy of trust
I am not worthy of safety
I could go on forever filling in the blanks and still find new ones because 'self worth', feeling worthy of or deserving of is something every single human on the planet (barring those with psychopathic diagnosis) will struggle with at some point.
How does it negatively AFFECT you?
This is how it can show up in your life - so if you are nodding along be assured that a limiting belief around your own self worth is at the root of these situations/behaviours:
Defensive/blaming others
Disordered eating
Substance misuse
Relationship issues
Intimacy difficulties
Irritable/ Anxious
Work struggles
Lack of Boundaries
Self Harm
Isolation
How do you STOP this belief limiting your life?
How I wish there was a magic pill to swallow and suddenly the worthiness would just come flooding in. Sadly this is not the case - BUT if you are prepared to do some work and trust the process I can promise you that your sense of being worthy will strengthen and like a muscle the more you flex it the more you finesse it. So here are my top tips for overcoming a limiting belief that you are not worth of A-Z
Journaling - I cannot express just how much this helps. You can write it out or speak it out and record it, whichever is most accessible to you. Use some journal prompts to start your questioning about the source/roots of your self worth difficulties.
Practice gratitude - or as I prefer to frame it 'The Art of Appreciation' - each day try to notice things you appreciate truly, be it the taste of your hot coffee, the smell of your fresh bedding, the rose bush in the neighbours garden. Start small and make notes every.single.day
Set small weekly challenges - this week I will shower every morning, this week I will walk 15 minutes every day, this week I will eat vegetables at every evening meal. The point is find something achievable, beneficial and commit. Stick it to your fridge and tick it off when done.
Mindfulness. Just 5 minutes a day can declutter your brain and improve your mindset. In turn if you set aside those 5 minutes a day you are proving to yourself you are worthy of this time. There are some great apps and guided mindfulness resources out there.
Work with a professional. If you are serious about overcoming your self worth limiting belief working with a trained Coach or Therapist is game-changing. If you want to explore this avenue further email me: hello@flissgoldsmith.com
You can also check out my Podcast 'The Way Forward' here for free resources to help with all aspects of your mindset: https://the-way-forward.captivate.fm/
X Love and Empowerment Fliss X
